My conspiracy Theory

 Parenting has become a conspiracy. It often feels like those in parenting committees are gatekeeping important files and documents from others who have questions. I might be a bit dramatic, but this situation is problematic for me. It mirrors the challenges I faced throughout my childhood, where I wasn’t allowed to question any decisions my parents made. I was labeled as “defiant” or “rebellious," but really, I was just exhibiting the natural curiosity that all children have at a certain age. Every child is inherently curious, though some express it differently than others. I was the kind of kid who asked "why" a million times. You would think that’s a normal way to be, but it wasn’t seen that way by the adults around me.

I often heard phrases like, "Because I said so," or "You'll understand one day." I was never satisfied with those answers, and I’m still not, primarily because they don't make sense. I’ve learned that anything worth knowing requires early intervention for understanding. If you ask any professional athlete when they began training, they will likely say very early in their lives. That’s not to say someone in their 30s can’t succeed, but it certainly becomes much harder. With that logic, the school age should be moved up to 18, because that’s when we’ll best understand the material. 

Common sense should dictate that explaining to a child why they should make a certain choice encourages them to carry that understanding into adulthood. However, today, many people in power seem to forget about what it was like to be here. They adopt an arrogant stance, thinking, "I don't have to explain myself to you," or "I'm better than you." I believe this attitude is mirrored in some parenting styles. I’m not suggesting all parents are intentionally dismissive, but isolating oneself from one’s children can lead to this dynamic.

First-time parents often approach parenting with the mindset that they will raise their children in the same way they were raised. This usually stems from their own experiences, where they didn't have the opportunity to explore different parenting methods or understand the reasons behind their parents' choices. Unfortunately, this tendency can perpetuate generational trauma, leading to the transmission of negative traits and unresolved issues from one generation to the next, without reflection or questioning. I often remind others that children didn't ask to be here, and that should never be used against them.

It takes someone like me to push back against the idea of "that’s how my parents raised me," because I know for a fact there are things my parents did that I don't want to replicate. If my children turn out anything like me, I want to avoid repeating the same issues. I believe this desire for thoughtful exploration is what parenting needs, and what this country needs as well. We should ask questions, fact-check, and seek out reasoning. Doing so minimizes the potential for misunderstandings and conspiracies.